The L Word, Lesbianism and Pride

OK so I'm a few days late, whatever. Sue me. I’m a lazy arse and I have been working my arse off all week. But it’s finally here, my new blog! I give you “The L Word, Lesbianism and Pride”

You know, sometimes I feel like a big old lesbian. I mean, to be honest, I don't really fancy any guys at the moment. There is really only two guys that I really want to shag at the moment, and they are my boyfriend and Tim McGraw. Other than that, I would gladly shag Kelly Clarkson, Katherine Moennig, Natasha Bedingfield, Carrie Underwood...my list goes on, and to be honest, I feel more gay than straight these days. Is that normal? I mean, I know that I'm probably near the gay end of the Kinsey scale, probably a five or six, but to be honest, I don't feel normal at times. It's like I'm caught between two worlds - the straight world, and the gay scene, both of which I feel I don't really belong to. I mean, I see why the gays don't like us, and the straights don't like us, I mean, it's a lifestyle all of it's own, and I think it's still trying to find itself. We're bundled into the GLBT lifestyle, but sometimes I feel like we don't fit into that, you know?

OK, I'm gonna cut this up a little bit cos that's a huge paragraph and I feel like I'm yammering on.

I really should go to one Pride event this year. I mean, I've never been before, the closest I've gotten is the Polo in Glasgow and the LGBT NUS conference in Birmingham (total disaster, but hey, worse things have happened).

Ewwww OLDIE SNOGGING! Watching the Pride episode of the L Word season 2 and Jenny snogged an oldie!

Yeah, so anyway...ooh Tina's nipples are showing!

OK, the moment's over. Back to Bi Pride. I mean, that's what the Bi Parade is all about, right? Pride at being bisexual, about embracing the lifestyle that we were destined to follow, because, in the words of Savage Garden "I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality" or words to that effect. You don't choose who you want to sleep with, there is something that you can't control that does that for you. Trans people don't wake up one morning and decide "hey, I wanna be the opposite gender" and go through years of what seems like torture (and feel free to correct me by the way, I'm just going by the documentary I saw on BBC3 last week, and I don't know what it feels like to be Trans, just like Trans people don't know what it's like to be bi), just because they want to. It's because they have to. Because for some fucked up reason, they ended up in the wrong body as a baby and its been punishing them ever since.

I don't understand these people who say they chose to be gay either. I was listening to The Lesbian Mafia podcast and some of those women, including Sandy, said they felt they chose to be gay. I don't understand that. If I could choose, I would have chosen to be straight and not be exposed to this other world in which I still feel lost in. It's like I'm a kid again and still learning the ropes.I just, I dunno, I feel like it's all new to me still. I'm not in any LGBT groups around here. I don't even think that there's any around here. I mean, there's an unofficial "gay bar" but nothing really organised, you know? And I know that the easy answer would be to create a group, but there's the problem of funding and space and actually getting people to come. I don't even know if it would work to be honest, and I don't have the cash to even try right now, as much as I would love to.

Yeah, so anyway I think I've bored you enough for one day, I mean, you've probably wasted, what, ten minutes reading this? And for that I thank you. BTW comments are always welcome, as are affiliates, so if you wanna be an affilliate, please email or comment me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Jen xxx